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What Is Graysexuality?

Graysexuality (or greysexual) is a term within the asexual (ace) spectrum describing people

who rarely or only occasionally experience sexual attraction.

The Asexual Visibility & Education Network (AVEN) calls it a “gray area” between asexuality and allosexuality (those who regularly experience attraction).

People who are graysexual may say, “I feel attraction occasionally, but only in particular contexts,” or “I like certain activities, but others really turn me off,” according to therapist Shadeen Francis, LMFT, CST.

Understanding the Asexual Spectrum

Graysexuality falls under the broader ace spectrum, which includes:

• Sex-repulsed: Discomfort with sex

• Sex-neutral: Indifference to sex

• Sex-positive: Engages in sex despite being ace

As counselor Eric Marlowe Garrison explains, “You don’t have to tick every box to identify as graysexual.”

Attraction vs. Libido

A common misunderstanding is confusing sexual attraction with libido. Libido is a physical urge; attraction is a desire for a specific person. Graysexual people may feel libido but not attraction, or vice versa. They might also identify as biromantic, aromantic, or heteroromantic—referring to romantic, not sexual, interest.

Relationships and Visibility

Graysexual people can form meaningful relationships with partners of any orientation. Communication is key. Francis advises, “Talk about how you both feel, what you like and don’t like, and what you want to do, or not do.”

In the 2019 Ace Community Census, 10% of respondents identified as graysexual. The community is represented by the asexual flag, which includes a gray stripe for graysexuality, and its own gray-ace flag.